"Jesus, I’m so sorry. Forgive me."
In Luke 5:8 we read of Peter's spontaneous worship of the Master when once he had seen Jesus' power over nature. "When Simon Peter saw it (the miraculous catch of fish), he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, 'Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.'"
That's a curious response, is it not? Not, "Thank you!" or, "Wow!" or, "How did you do that?"
No, it was a confession of guilt. Not the confession of some single vice or crime, but a confession of being. Not even, "I have sinned." But, "I am a sinful man."
There is no place better to begin with Jesus. After all, He came for sinners.
In David's great prayer of repentance, we find the same sentiment worded many ways.
"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to your lovingkindness: according to the multitude of your tender mercies blot out my transgressions." (Psalm 51:1)
Verse 2, "Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin."
4, "Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight: that You may be justified when You speak, and be clear when You judge."
7, "Purge me with hyssop, and I will be clean: wash me, and I will be whiter than snow."
9, "Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities."
And verse 14. "Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, You God of my salvation: and my tongue will sing aloud of Your righteousness."
I'm sorry. Forgive Me.
David and Peter needed deliverance. They needed pardon. The needed to be rescued from their guilt. They wanted and needed a clean slate; a fresh start. They needed a new spirit.
As do we all.
What if Jesus were to show up today in your normal routine. You go to class and it's Him standing in as a substitute teacher. Or you go by the coffee shop and He comes to the window to deliver your order to you. Or you meet your doctor's appointment and He walks into the examination room. If you truly knew it was Him, what would you do? What could you say?
Of course we know things that Peter did not know. We have advantages that David did not have. Still, could we do anything other than what they did?
I can see the student drop her books; the customer shut off her engine and stare in shock through the "pick-up" window; the patient slide from the examination room table to the floor. And what would we say? "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I have failed you so miserably. I am a failure. Your perfection is too much for me. I can't take it."
All of us who know Him are the same. Unworthy. Sinners.
But what would He say? Surely we don't have to guess.
"Don't be afraid. It's Me. You are forgiven already. You are my child."
He said as much repeatedly to His disciples; His sheep; His true followers.
It is true that we pray in the Spirit, in the name of the Son, to the Father. Yet, the Spirit in us is the Spirit of Christ, and His promise rings reassuredly in our hearts, "Look now, I will always be with you wherever you go..." (Matthew 28:20)
So when we bring the blackness and blood-redness of our guilty conscience, our deeply embarrassing record, our still wretched nature, our failing-flailing immoral mind, our grating and grinding speech, our twisted and ill-bent desires and intentions, our rottingly sensual appetites, our offensive pride and defensive self-aggrandizing résumé of lies, our coveting eyes and polluted memories... when we bring all of these grand humanistic smudges and smears to our own attention in confession to the Savior, what does He do?
He intercedes for us.
He has already purchased our redemption. He has already paid the ransom. The wrath of the Father against us has already been appeased and assuaged. He has cast our sins "...as far as the east is from the west, behind His back, in the depths of the deepest sea - never to be remembered against us again..." never to be brought up by His Excellency.
1s✟ John 5:14-15
"We are confiden✟
✟ha✟ He hears us
whenever we ask for
any✟hing
✟ha✟ pleases Him.
And if we know ✟ha✟ He hear us,
wha✟ever we ask,
we know that we have the pe✟i✟ions
✟ha✟ we desired of Him."
It pleases Him to forgive us. Both in the crisis of our soul's salvation and in the journey of the sanctification of your mind and mine, He offers forgiveness. He offers it freely. He knows that we are sorry. He has worked that sorrow in us by His own good will and word. He knows that our sorrow is also pitifully imperfect as of yet. But it will not always be so. Our forgiveness is a living hope. The goodness of God leads us to repentance. He knows the precise moment when your faith and mine will become sight. He knows that when we see Him as He truly is, then we will be transformed finally and completely. Then our confession of His Lordship and glory will be full and real; without reservation or hesitation.
But we need not wait until this wispy future moment becomes concrete. We have this glorious Savior now. We hold more than a promise. We hold the Person. We are held by the Person. Now.
So, we pray. "Forgive us our trespasses..."
And, He does. He has. He will. It's who He is.
